Let It Out

It is run­of­the­mill advice that we ought to vent our feelings, frustrations, and angers by verbally expressing them. Considering it to be healthy for the soul, people are often heard to say that upon growing irritable, relief comes by "letting it out"-which means "taking it out" on some unsuspecting soul. I have never been comfortable with this recommended word to the wise, in spite of the fact that it has the endorsement of not only some licensed psychotherapists, but seemingly every Manny, Moe, and Jack.

For one thing, such counsel does not come from our Lord or his inspired book. We never get the picture from him that he subscribed to the view that upon frustrations and bitter disappointments, he would have his followers take time out to blow a little steam. Secondly, upon all occasions of extreme pressures we find him prayerfully laying it before the throne of the Almighty. During one such episode his sweat became as drops of blood.

I remember reading a volume on the topic of "Psychoheresy" by Martin and Deidre Bobgan in which the excellent point was made that to suppose a calmer disposition arises from blasting a few folks with penned­up inner turmoil is to liken the human machine to a steam engine which builds pressure until physically released. The analogy is wrong, for we are not steam engines blowing gaskets. This is not to say, of course, that we cannot be physically affected by emotional considerations. It is to say that it is no remedy in just "letting someone have it" as if physical pressure merely needs the escape valve of your mouth.

Consider, what the wise, inspired writer had to offer on the subject. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:1). "He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding" (14:29), and "he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city" (16:32). Once more, "The wrath of a king is as messengers of death: but a wise man will pacify it" (16:14).

Walter Porter, in King Solomon's Advice reminds us that the best defense against wrath, "once aroused, is to calm it down" (p. 172) for "a hothead is always doing wrong" (29:22 NEB). We are also commanded in the New Testament to avoid "harboring anger" (p. 174); "Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Eph. 4:26).

I should think that a regular dosage of this medicine will cure our habit of discharging every disgusted feeling we may hold. Not a few Christians need to take note of their personal practices in this regard, and innumerable congregations might be spared the pain of dissension if members would learn to overlook the faults, insults, and affronts which others occasionally give them. "The discretion of a man maketh him slow to anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression" (Prov. 19:11).

As Porter puts it, "Wise men also understand the basic nature of people, and it is a mark of distinction for them to overlook an offense" (p. 173). Brethren, overlook personal offenses that necessarily come in any relationship involving a variety of personalities and never allow yourself to harbor ill­feelings toward others by brooding upon injury.